![]() ![]() While he usually was quite stingy with time off and company events, whenever he felt someone was on their way out, he would suddenly plan company parties, give paid time off, and plan numerous workplace improvement efforts. One narcissist boss I had would use the same tactic on employees he feared were getting ready to quit. In relationships, this is the classic situation where the partner who is being left dresses up, works out, and tries to find an attractive date to make their partner jealous. When a narcissist feels they are losing you, they will do anything they can to make you feel like you are missing out. It’s a similar principle in domestic abuse cases where whoever called the police first generally wins. This is classic psychological projection, where a perpetrator sees their worst qualities in everyone else.Īdditionally, it provides them with a form of social protection because by accusing you first, it will seem less believable to others if you accuse them right back. If they cheat, they will accuse you of infidelity. If they spread rumors, they will say you spread rumors. If a narcissist lies, they will accuse you of lying. I find it stunning just how often a narcissist will accuse their victims of the same forms of abuse that they prefer to use. If a narcissist can’t be the abuser, then they will pretend that you were. Seeing a narcissist go into a rage is a clear sign that they feel like they are losing control of the situation, and are experiencing extreme negative emotions as a result. Narcissistic rage has obvious cause from the perspective of an outside observer. When the injury is aggravated, either intentionally or intentionally on your part, narcissists are prone to flying into an over-the-top rage. This raw point is usually in the area of self-esteem and is frequently called the “narcissistic injury.” Narcissistic rage is a fit of uncontrollable anger that arises when we irritate a narcissist’s original “narcissistic injury.”Įmotionally, narcissists have an internal mentality like that of a young child that persists because of emotional injury that happened as they were developing emotionally. “Triangulation in Narcissistic Families” Fall into a Narcissistic Rage. ![]() “Triangulation and the Narcissistic Boss | How They Lie and Get Away with It”.This tactic of spreading lies to control someone is often called “triangulation,” which I discuss more in-depth here: Instead, they will pass them off as natural or originating from someone else and attempt to use them to convince you to come back to them. Usually, a narcissist will try to keep the fact they are spreading false rumors hidden from you. You cheat on your partner or are sexually promiscuous.Some examples of things a narcissist might say about you include. In essence, narcissists want to turn the tables, make you the broken one, and make it seem like they are leaving you. So, they try to counter this indictment by making you look as bad as possible. Whether you are firing a narcissistic employee, leaving a narcissistic husband, or taking space from a narcissistic family, the narcissists in your life will see your effort to distance from them as a criticism of their personality. To a narcissist, it is paramount that they control other people’s perception of what happened between the two of you. Ruin Your ReputationĬharacter assassination is a common tactic used by narcissists when they feel like they are losing you. “You should be embarrassed by what you’ve done.”įor more examples of things narcissists say to hurt you, see “Catchphrases Used by Narcissists | Real Life Examples from Victims”.“If you leave me, you will be alone for the rest of your life.”.They use this knowledge to hurt you as efficiently as possible.Ī narcissist losing control will make cutting comments to try to scare you back in line. The more time you have spent around a narcissist, the more likely they are to know your secret fears and embarrassments. Narcissists have are very skilled at finding out your weak points and using them against you. Here are nine ways that a narcissist might act when they lose control. In my life and work with clients, I have seen how disastrous narcissistic tantrums can be. One of the dangers of dealing with a narcissist is that they tend to lash out when they feel they are losing control of a situation.
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